Journey to Self-Love
by 4evernaya
Summary: He left me. I was nothing to him. He thought he could use me and throw me away like yesterday's garbage? I'll show you Edward Cullen. I'll show all of you. They won't know what hit them. Bella/Jasper
1. Discovering Myself

**Hi,I'm 4everynaya and I want to get back into writing. I starting writing Fanfiction when I was 13 years old and I am currently 18 in college and want to start over. What better way then to write on a site where people share their opinion if you want to hear it or not right?**

**The story starts in new moon during Bella's "depressed" period.**

**Enjoy.**

**P.S I own nothing but the characters I make up.**

Chapter 1: Discovering myself

**Bella Pov**

Why? After everything we've been through? I was accepting. I never judged him, even when most people would. I mean vampires? COME ON. I literally gave him everything. I DID everything to be with him. I gave up my friends. I don't spend time with charlie because he wanted all of my time. I'm just so angry. Who does that to someone? That's so sadistic. To make someone love you for fun. As a charade, a joke. That's funny to people? Gosh I HATE VAMPIRES.

Here I sit staring out the window in this depressed state. I don't know how to get out of this funk. It wasn't just him leaving that hurt. My entire family left me. Carlisle and Esme they were my parents. Not the kind that were forced to have you because of unprotected sex, but the kind that chooses you because they see you as family. Being an only child I always craved having a big family-NO I will not sit here in wallow in self pity like a loser. If you want change make it.

I made my way to the closet to start my road to self-love or at least that's what some girl called it in a video I seen a couple days ago. I went through everything from bras to pants and threw out anything Alice bought or Edward seen worthy of complimenting me in. I wanted a fresh start away from the cullens. They didn't deserve to have me that way.

_Damn I really have no clothes now._ _Whatever I'll get more later. _

As I stared at the clothes that were now being thrown away I shed a tear. Not because I was sad, but because I was happy. I want to be strong. I want to make Charlie proud. I'm more like my dad then I realize. When swans love they love for life. He still isn't completely over mom.

As I walked over to my computer I did what that women on youtube said, write it out. I want this to be public I want people to hear it and know that love hurts. Yes, I'm bitter. So what? I googled how to create a blog and found this website where I can create my own blog and have it published for all to see.

Dear Dreamers,

Hi, my name is Marie and I'm here to talk about love. Yes, it's very cliche, but actually I'm here to talk about why love sucks. Let me start from the beginning. My story starts like every other heartbreak and that's falling in love. Only this wasn't just love it was dangerous, exciting, but in all the wrong ways. I was beaten and broken but not from HIM. I was told that I was inferior and childish, but HE didn't say it. I was the caterpillar while he was the eternal butterfly and I felt that. I was torn apart, but HE did that. I guess the break-up was my fault because I didn't love myself.

Love,

Marie

For those of you who are new here hi, my name is Isabella Swan. I am 18 years old and I recently moved to Forks, Washington to live with my father Charles Swan. I used to live in Arizona with my mom Renee, but she wanted to travel around the world with her boyfriend Phil and his very minor baseball league. I was 17 at the time of my move so it wasn't that heartbreaking that she didn't want to "babysit" me anymore. I mean I'm your daughter it's not babysitting its parenting. Whatever. Anyway long story short I was dumped. Everyone seems to know the story of poor Isabella Swan getting dumped in the woods like it was in a damn book or something.

Honestly, I can act as tough as I wasn't but breakups are hard and love sucks. It's getting better though I can finally breathe after 3 months. I'm starting this blog only no one is going to know it's me. I figured I can't tell anyone I dated a vampire and everything I've been through or I would literally end up in the crazy house; however, online is where I can say anything and people think it's fiction because people put anything on the internet. I mean

yesterday I seen a mix between a cat and a fox on some ad.

"Bella can you come down here?" Charlie said. _Well there goes my peaceful time_ I thought as I crawled out the bed moving my laptop out of the way and made my way downstairs.

"Yea?" I said as I made my way into the kitchen where Charlie was attempting to make something the smelled god awful.

"Are you hungry?" he said looking sheepishly while looking at the burned breakfast hash.

"I think I'll pass. I'm to tired. Sorry dad." I said. Then I walked up stairs to sleep away the heartbreak. As I closed my eyes and everything went black a single tear ran down my cheek


	2. Confidence

**Hi, I hope you guys liked my first chapter this one will be longer than my last. Also this is taking place before she started hanging out with Jake in New Moon.**

**Warning- there will be brief mentions of cutting and Anorexia.**

**Again Let me know what pairing this story should have or if you guys don't want a pairing at all.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Chapter 2: Confidence

"_You think you found something better _

_Just cause you found something new _

_Y'all look so happy together" _

I woke up to one of my favorite songs at the moment 'Do You Miss It' by Summerella. I turned it up and sang along. This song has been on replay everyday for a week and when I'm not listening to it I'm singing it in my head. As I stare at the ceiling singing the song I couldn't help but think today is the day.

Today is the first day I woke up and was able to breath without pain. I slowly got up and walked over to my white and yellow floor mirror. I've always been insecure thinking I was to skinny. While I was out of it I was barely eating and lost a lot more weight. I slowly stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror scared to open my eyes. I took a deep breath and looked. I gasped. I haven't really looked at myself in months and was shocked at what I seen. It was beyond what I thought. You could see my ribs poking out. My hip bones more pronounced than ever. On my thighs were three lines, cuts that showed how weak I was. I never understood it before, but I do now. It's harder to live than it is to die.

I continued to look myself over and cry about the person I was and I cursed Edward for ever talking to me that day in Biology in the first place. Everything about me draws you in he had said to me one day. I never truly got it until he left. It was like I was going through withdrawal. For the first couple months I used to wake up shaking I thought I was having a seizure. I would get dizzy at random times and black out sometimes. It's starting to get better. By better I mean I take anxiety medication and pain pills daily.

I don't want to be like this. I refuse to be like this. I want to be better/healthier. I snatched my robe from the closet and headed to the bathroom to take my shower before school. I scrubbed, washed, and shaved all of the necessary places until I was smelling of vanilla and strawberries. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed slight acne starting to form in the middle of my forehead. I used a warm face towel to clean my face making a mental note to pick up some face soap. I looked at the clock and noticed my shower was longer than I meant it to be because I had to be at school in forty-five minutes. I quickly chose the first thing I seen which was a gray police academy hoodie I stole from Charlie and some black skinny jeans which hung slightly off my hips because of the weight I've lost. I threw on my black converse and ran my hands through my tangled hair and just put it in a bun to hide how dry and tangled it was.

I ran downstairs with enough time to make a good hearty breakfast. I made eggs, turkey bacon, and toast. I noticed Charlie had already left for work so I only made enough for me. I started eating and realized how hungry I really was because I finished in five minutes. With fifteen minutes left to get to school I walked out of the house to the car and slipped twisting my ankle along the way. "Oww! Fuck!" I screamed.

"Why? Great going Bella." I said to myself getting up and walking to the car. As I drove to school I thought about my old friends. I won't admit this to anyone, but my pride is horrible. I don't want to go to my old friends and have them judge me when I was already doing that. I'll make new friends. When I started to focus I realized I was already parked in front of the school and I was too distracted with my inner rant. Glad I'm okay.

* * *

I don't think school if for me. Needless to say I didn't have a great day. We had a new student today who was a completely jerk and almost killed me while trying to be charming at the same time. His name was Kaleb. He was tall if I had to guess around 6'4", taller than Emmett. He was a mocha complexion, he had curly black hair that sometimes gets in his light brown eyes, and he was well built bigger than Jasper, but smaller than Emmett. He dressed fashionable and seemed attached to his black ripped jean jacket. He was cute, but infuriating.

**Flash Back**

On to Calculus I thought with irritation. I hate math. I'm good at it, but I hate it. As I was walking to class some jerk knocked my on the floor trying to catch some dumb ball.

"Ouch! What the hell? Can you watch where you're going? You're such an ass" I yelled rubbing my already hurt ankle.

"Damn. I'm sorry beautiful. I didn't see you there." He said with a smile that made me regret yelling at him. As he helped me up and picked up my books I couldn't help picture me licking those plumb lips of his. Whoa, where did that come from?

"It's okay. Sorry I yelled." I said sheepishly.

"No harm done. I hope I see you around beautiful" He winked and left after his friends were calling him over. I stared after him. He was like no one I've ever seen before. Come to think of it I've never seen him before, which made me wonder how he made friends so quickly. Then again maybe he wasn't new seeing as I was basically in a coma for the last three months. Either way I wanted to be his friend. I was drawn to him without realizing it.

**End of flashback**

I had just pulled up in front of the house when I seen all the clothes Alice and Edward gave me sitting on the front porch in bags._I forgot I had to take those to good will. I also have to pick up more clothes seeing as that was basically my entire wardrobe in those bags._ I threw the bags in the bed of the car and got in. I knew that once I got in that house I was not coming back out.

As I drove to Port Angeles I started thinking about what my style was. I wasn't a dark colors kind of girl, but I appreciated black, deep purples, and reds. I wanted to get happy colors to symbolize my new found happiness. I pulled in outside of this urban store called Akira. I've never heard of it, but from the outside it looks like something I want to experiment with. I wasn't much of a shopper so I just picked thinks that felt good, were fitting to my body without showing my bones that were protruding, and that were fashionable.

My favorite outfit I chose was this black off the shoulder dress that reached a couple inches above the knee. The sales lady said it was a body-con dress which meant it clinged to your body. I was skeptical at first being I didn't want it to be known how skinny I was, but after I put it on it showed everything that was meant to be seen. My shoulders where out in an elegant way, body looked toned as if I've been working out which we all know isn't the case, and my legs look like they went on for miles. I also paired this outfit with some yellow open toe strappy heels. I was scared to wear these, but again the sales lady said they were easy to walk in. She went on about how clumsy she is and how she barely trips in these heels. I think she just wanted my money.

"Your total is $350.74. Would you like to get an rewards card with us today and save 10%?" This beast asked. _What the hell did I buy for it to be that much? I have enough to pay it , but my goodness._

"Yes please." As I gave the lady the necessary information I was relieved that it dropped to around $315, but not as relieved as I would have been if it was free. _I like this store, but I need to find something cheaper with the same style._

On my way home I decided to cook Charlie a big dinner and started to head towards Walmart. While there I picked the ingredients I needed to make Grandma Swans famous chicken Parmesan recipe. At the last minute I remember my acne and went into the beauty aisle. I wasn't an expert on facial washes, but I have heard of clean & clear. So, I chose to get the deep cleaning exfoliate one. I honestly got it because it was blue I have no idea if this is really going to work. Then I picked up some facial cream because you're supposed to moisturize after you clean your face.

"What do you recommend for very tangly hair? Also my hair gets really dry." I heard as I was walking past the hair aisle. I listened for the answer and got the same products she did as well as some extra because it said curl activator and my natural curls could use some help.

When I walked into the house Charlie was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching the game. "Hey dad. Can you help me with the bags? " I said struggling to get in the door with my still sore ankle.

"Yea okay. Sorry honey." He said pausing the game. While he went to get the rest of the bags I started to put up the food and start cooking.

"I see you went shopping. I thought you had a closet full of clothes and how much were the groceries so I can give you the money back?" While he said this he was looking me with so much pride I nearly cried. I guess I put him through a lot in the last couple months.

"I did, but I realized all of those clothes were something the Cullens gave me and I don't want any memories of them. The groceries were $150, but you don't have to pay me back."

"I understand. If I ever see Edwin again I'm going to tear him a new one and then shoot him because I felt like it. Bella I'm the parent, not you. I'm not your mom you don't have to take care of me. It's my job to take care of you. I will be giving you the $150."

"There is no use for that dad. I'm over it, you live and you learn. Thank you dad." I said getting a little emotional. It's no secret that Renee wasn't responsible. I was the one balancing her checkbook, keeping the food in the fridge, and making sure the bills were paid. Charlie was barely around, but at least he's trying to make up for it now. Maybe I should stop calling him Charlie in my head then.

"I love you kiddo" he said basically running out the kitchen. He's not good with emotion so him saying that meat a lot.

"Love you too dad." I yelled back just to make him even more uncomfortable. I turned around started preheating the oven and getting everything ready for dinner, chicken Parmesan with a light butter pasta, and a side salad. I want him to start eating better and I want to start eating period.

As the food was cooking I started putting away all of my clothes and even got excited and looked to see what to wear the next weather said it will be an usually sunny day of 77℉. With that being said I was excited to wear something new and fun. I decided to go with some black biker shorts with an over sized red,black, and white race track t-shirt and some sandals that had the same colors as the shirt. I checked the timer on the food and seen that I had twenty more minuted until I had to start on the salad so I pulled out the hair products I bought earlier. I bought shampoo, conditioner, styling gel, curl activator, and some coconut oil. I never had so many hair products. I used to have shampoo/conditioner in one. I decided to wait on doing my hair until dinner was done because this mess was going to take a lot longer than the fifteen minutes I had left.

I was watching a YouTube video on how to use each product and what style would look good. Once I wrote down anything I would forget and memorized the video my alarm went off. I went down to finish everything I had to make for dinner and called Char-Dad in.

"This looks great Bella. Glad to see a smile on your face." He said handing me the money for the groceries I bought earlier.

"Thanks dad." We ate in silence. As quick as I was eating I wasn't going to be able to get a word out anyway.

"Whoa. I'm glad to see you have your appetite is back." He said smiling a soft smile.

"Mhm." Was all I could get out before I shoved more pasta in my mouth. Once we were done eating Dad offered to clean up seeing as I was the one to cook. So now it was time to tame the beast.

I stood in the mirror and took out the bun I created earlier to see the bird nest on my head. _Step one use conditioner to detangle so it doesn't hurt._ As I struggled to get these knots out of my head from neglect I got extremely frustrated. It hurt so bad, I couldn't imagine how it would feel if I didn't use conditioner to help. Thirty minutes and a giant hair ball later everything was detangled. I cut on my shower taking the bottle of shampoo with me and started shampooing my roots and working it down my hair like she said in the video. _Step three after shampoo leave conditioner in for 15 minutes. _I took this time to do anything else I needed to do in the shower. Once I was done with that I rinsed my hair out and got out of the shower.

I wrapped my hair in an old T-shirt because apparently towels cause split ends or something. As I waited for my hair to do it's thing I used the coconut oil all over my body using only a dime sized amount. My skin couldn't have felt better. She was right. I need to subscribe to her. I put on my normal pajamas which were an over sized T-shirt that went to my knees and some underwear. Then I used the face wash I got from the store. It had a cooling sensation, but I was okay with it. After following the directions I decided to start on my hair.

_Step four finger detangle and add in curl activator. _Okay. _Step five add in quarter sized amount of coconut oil and scrunch hair. _What is scrunch again? Oh right. _Step six add in gel and scrunch then braid or twist to keep together for the following day. _Done. I said looking in the mirror pleased that I was able to do it. New Bella coming through.

I sat on the bed playing a game on my phone when I seen a text with a picture of me in this same position with the words _I didn't forget._ I looked up, but seen no one there. I slowly walked closer to the window just in case and seen absolutely nothing. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep.


	3. How far will I go?

**A/N:Hey guys. I hope you're liking this story so far. I'm trying so hard on this one and just know I do read the reviews and if there's something you want to happen I might do it.**

**There is no set story for this I just make it up as I go. I just want to thank everyone for reading and giving such positive feedback.**

**Let me know what pairing I should do even if it's one I never even mentioned.**

**Also I just got back from spring break and I wanted to take that time to really reset. College is so stressful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Chapter 3: How far will I go?

As their tongue slowly moved with mine I was speechless. Not just because I literally couldn't talk at the moment, but because this kiss had such fire, passion. I've never been kissed like this before. As they caressed my bottom I was suddenly aware of how little clothes I had on. I slipped my hand through their hair and kissed back with such force I became dizzy. As I pulled away their mouth traveled down my neck giving me open mouth kisses. They looked at me with an expression so powerful my legs gave out and I was being carried to the bed.

"Bella get up you're going to be late!" Clearly he has no regard for his life seeing as he just yelled at me in the middle of a good dream. The dream felt so real. I could still feel them on my lips. I put my fingers up to my mouth still a little out of it. I got up and got ready for the day. I took a shower last night so I skipped out on one this morning seeing as I was running out of time. I put on the outfit I chose last night and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and see how my hair turned out. I took out the braids I put them in the other day and was Shocked. This being my first time I didn't think it would work out even though I did everything step by step. It was a little frizzier than I would like and it was a little crunchy I think it was because I used a little too much gel, but I was okay with it. I looked nice.

I walked down stairs with 27 minutes to get to school and decided to have a quick breakfast. I went into the kitchen and seen that Charlie had already made something. "Good morning. I made eggs, bacon, turkey for you of course, and it's some fruit in the fridge." He said. I was absolutely shocked. Charlie could cook?

"Don't look like that bells. You thought I ate at the diner every night before you got here?" He said with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know. I never really thought about it. So why am I always the one to cook?" I said as I started eating.

"Well when you first got here everything was so different for you. You didn't have any friends yet, the weather is a complete 360 from Arizona, and I just wanted you to have something that felt familiar to you. You like to cook. You're in your element in the kitchen. I wanted you to be happy. You don't have to take care of me I can do that on my own. I'm suppose to take care of you, but you're so independent, so I just sneak money into your account every once in awhile." He said so nonchalant. By the time he was done I was looking at him like he had two heads. Why didn't he tell me any of this? I need to start paying more attention to my money if he's putting money in my account and I didn't notice.

I didn't know what to say so I just got up and hugged him. I wasn't that good at expressing my emotions either so I tried to put everything I was feeling into this hug. I was so grateful for him. I felt so selfish in that moment for giving my all to Edward Cullen when I came out here to spend more time with my dad. I've been out here almost two years and I haven't spent any real time with him.

"I have to go, I'm going to be late, but we'll finish all of this when I get out of school. We could do something later too. Love you, bye." I said running out of the house almost breaking an ankle on my way to the truck.

Wow. I can't believe that was Charlie. He's never been that affectionate. I drove to school in a daze still shocked that Charlie and I had that moment. When I got to school I ran to first period. I tripped a total of five times and almost ran into someone's locker, the idit forgot to close it. I was irritated that when I got there I was not only out of breath, but the teacher wasn't even there. I looked around and seen that the seat next to mine that was usually empty was filled. I sat next to the short African-American girl with curly hair and asked her where everyone was.

"I have no idea. The teacher hasn't shown up yet and once students seen that they left too. No one has been in to say where was either. Also nice of you to finally talk to me." She said with a warm smile.

"Finally?" I asked.

"Well yes. I've been here for two months now, siting right here and you haven't said one word to me and I tried talking to you, but you've never noticed. By the way you look HOT." She said. Two months? She's been sitting here for two months and I haven't noticed. Wait, I look hot? For some reason that gave me a lot more confidence.

"Sorry. I was going through something, still am but it's getting better." I said. I didn't want to tell her how bad it really was. She probably seen or even heard rumors around the school. I just wasn't ready to say it out loud yet. I was still grieving the boy who I thought loved me and the family who didn't care about me.

"I heard, but you look okay, strong." She said confirming my suspicions.

"Look since Mr. Greene doesn't seem like he's coming in today do you want to get out of here?" I said trying to be more outgoing and spontaneous. I don't know my mom was talking about it.

"Yea. I know somewhere we can go." We stood up and walked out and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I know the teacher isn't here, but she's talking like we're skipping the whole day. "Don't worry we aren't leaving for the entire day. I'm on the honor roll. I have grades to maintain." It was like she was reading my mind. I just nodded and followed her to a part of the school that I never been in because it's basically abandoned and this is where the stoners like to hang out.

I followed her to an old music room filled with instruments and there was already a group of people in there.

"Hey beautiful. I knew you couldn't stay away from me." That voice. Ugh it was the asshole who tried to kill me. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but still.

"Hey Asshole. It wasn't from a lack of trying." I said smirking. I have no idea where that confidence came from. I literally should have been blushing and nervous.

"That's funny. Finally someone who finds him as annoying as I do" Why am I just now noticing I have no idea what her name is? What the hell is wrong with me? She stood oddly close to him. Are they together?

"You guys know each other?"

"This is my little sister. By the way I'm Chris and she's Honey. Knowing her she gets so distracted she forgets to tell people her name." He said knowing her so well.

"I'm Bella." I said. We all stood there and talked for a while and he introduced me to his jock friends who were surprisingly smart and funny. I think I found my group of people. They were funny, exciting, and very normal. Normal is a nice change.

* * *

As I walked out of the school building I ran to the car forgetting my umbrella yet again because it was supposed to be nice out. As I sat in the car letting it warm up I realized how much I liked school today. I usually dread school because it reminding me so much of Edward. Today was a good day. I reached for my phone to text Charlie if he needed me to get anything on my way from school when I remembered the text from last night. "_I didn't forget." _What does that mean? Who sent that? I rushed home to scared to go anywhere else.

"How was school today Bella" Charlie asked when I walked through the door.

"Fine." I said. I was still completely freaked out and didn't want to indulge in normal conversation when I was going through something not normal. I went upstairs and put on house clothes before sitting in my bed. I didn't know what to do. I looked at my window and ran to it, locking it and shutting the curtains. Could it be Victoria? She was with that coven when James wanted to kill me. Edward said they had been together. I still get nightmares from that day.

"Bella? Are you okay? You can talk to me about anything and don't say nothing is wrong. I'm a cop and I have been for 20 years and you fit the characteristic of someone on the run. Now clearly you aren't on the run, but why are you acting like this?" Charlie said coming in with the concerned father face.

"Dad. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I said.

"Try me." He challenged. I looked at him. I was trying to find something in his facial expression, in his eyes that said he wasn't ready to hear what I was about to say. I found nothing.

"Well, you know how Edward and his family are different from most people?" I started.


	4. Being Open

**Rated M for language and Adult content.**

Being Open

"Well, you know how Edward and his family are different from most people?" I started.

"Yes. There all all oddly perfect. Especially the teenagers." He said looking thoughtful. _This might not be so hard if he already noticed something different about them._

"Well, they are vampires. I know it may be hard to believe at first, it was hard for me as well, but it makes since."

"TRIBAL BUSINESS MY ASS. FUCKING BILLY BLACK!" he said as he stormed out the house. I ran after him falling while trying to run and slip on my shoes. I was completely confused. I didn't know how to react so I just jumped in the car with him as he high tailed in the direction of La Push.

"Dad what's going on?" I said slightly scared of the angry facial expression he was making. _I've never seen dad this mad before._

"Billy Black. He knew. I grew up with him Bells. He is my best friend. I grew up with the tribal stories just like he did. He knew. The night of the prom when he said he sent Jake to warn you about the Cullens. I thought he was just because he was just being prejudice against them and didn't want to admit it. He watched you go into the lion's den and did nothing to warn ME. Now I never liked Eduardo and you know that, but I always thought his family was nice. All the nice things the Dr. Cullen did at the Hospital and now to think that he was probably killing his patients. I'm so angry I can't think straight. He just let it happen. He wasn't going to tell me anything. What if something happened to you? What if they killed you?" He said hysterically while pulling over to the side of the road.

"Dad I'm fine. I'm sure Billy was doing everything he could. If you should be mad at anyone it should be me. I found out what he was and I stayed. I willingly jumped in the lion's den as you called it. I was stupid to think I would be safe surrounded by vampires. I trusted them. In my mind you could kill me too, probably not as brutality as they could, but you're a cop and you can, but I trust you not to because you're my dad. Just like I trusted them not to because they were my family as well." _I didn't defend Carlisle when dad made that crack about him killing his patients because I didn't feel the need to. I was going to treat them the same way they treated me, without care. Being honest it doesn't hurt as much. I'm still mad about Jasper. Out of everyone I felt like he should have at least said bye. I know he didn't want to hurt me. He was an empath; he could feel every emotion from everyone in the room. Blood lust is an emotion for vampires._

"Oh, believe me I am mad at you. For a lack of better words I am pissed. What possessed you to think hanging around with vampires was a good thing?" He said turning the car around.

"Honestly, I didn't. I was terrified at being eaten, but at the end of the day I had to trust them. I loved Edward and if I loved him I had to love his family. It was a risk I was willing to take"

"Mhm." that was all he said. I had to give him time. I probably shouldn't tell him about Phoenix anytime soon. The rest of the drive was filled with silence and I was glad for it. I wasn't ready to talk yet.

"Dad? I'm going to bed now. It's been a long day." Without hearing his reply I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Once I got settled I decided to write another entry in my blog.

**Hello dreamers,**

**Love means nothing. It's just a word until you find someone to give it meaning. My dad is that. He's been so patient with me though it all. I told him my big secret. Well it wasn't my secret to tell, but it was too much to handle on my own. I didn't tell him everything, but it's a start. **

**You never realize how much someone means to you until you lose them and you never know how bad someone is for you until you distance yourself from them. **

**Never let anyone take what's yours. Just because everyone can have it doesn't mean they deserve to.**

**Love,**

**Marie**

Once I was done I started to think about what I wrote. I meant every word, I was never one to think about the future if it didn't revolve around Edward, but I couldn't help but think of it now without him. I love my life without him. Out of nowhere I started shaking so bad I was vibrating the bed. Just as I blacked I remember I forgot to take my pills today.

**? POV**

I'm going to get her eventually. Nothing is going to stop me. You took the one thing I had that made this life bearable. Without him I am NOTHING. So you will get what's coming to you.

"Miss?" My minion said.

"Yes Christopher?"

"The plan is in motion. Isabella is ready for phase two." _Great._

"Thank you my pet." _Everything was going exactly as I wanted it to. _

I started running to Bella's house ready to put phase two into action. As I watched her through her window. I seen that she was sound asleep in an odd position. I silently opened her window and took another picture of her. _I loved messing with her mind. I wanted her to believe her home was no longer safe for her...or Charlie. _I texted one of my many minions to come to the house and had them pose next to charlie's bed as he slept. It added to it when this minion just happen to be coming from a hunt with blood smeared across their face.

"Lets go." I said as I walked out of her dad's room and back into hers. I made her room look very messy just so she knows I can do a lot without her knowledge and when she finds out it's too late. Without another glance I left the room.


End file.
